good news you are all now dating me
if you can’t beat them, dress better than them
I hate brushing my teeth at night because that signifies that you can’t have anymore food and I’m just never ready for that kind of commitment
Oh, wait, you said ”SEND NUDES”? I thought you said “SEND NUKES” hahaha whoops uh i guess you should evacuate your city or something
Pros of being gay: both you and your wife would get into the lifeboats on the titanic.